tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316291862024-03-08T00:02:33.678+05:30An attempt at answering unanswerable questionsWe all come across them, sometimes think them up ourselves. Walk around confused, searching for answers. I do that! All the time! My place to put thoughts into words! An attempt at lowering the levels of abject lunacy due to some unanswered, unanswerable questions!Ashikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06615837818302592885noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31629186.post-83760926854629554152009-05-08T16:31:00.002+05:302009-05-08T16:36:19.847+05:30ChangingHow can a person read a life changing book and not be changed forever by it?Ashikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06615837818302592885noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31629186.post-64488877270863553632009-04-17T10:46:00.001+05:302009-04-17T10:47:23.030+05:30From efiL to LifeHave you ever witnessed a sparrow confuse a mirror with a window? It tries to connect to the one in the mirror, with no luck. It cant understand what's going on. Everything is crystal clear, yet its so confusing that sometimes it hurls itself to its own end. <br /><br />Have you ever tried to understand yourself? You seem to know the person within, yet, there are times when you look at yourself with your mind's eye and see a stranger look back. <br /><br />Have you been at a point in your life where you question everything you ever believed in? Where your foundations have shook and left you feeling vulnerable, alone and broken?Ashikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06615837818302592885noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31629186.post-24917679702152451252009-04-08T12:53:00.001+05:302009-04-08T12:55:39.598+05:30A matter of choice<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iKpienMyGIM/SdxRYiwVmUI/AAAAAAAAA2Y/2d5rjaT-HI0/s1600-h/untitled.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iKpienMyGIM/SdxRYiwVmUI/AAAAAAAAA2Y/2d5rjaT-HI0/s320/untitled.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322218341733341506" /></a>Ashikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06615837818302592885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31629186.post-28961312767266891582008-06-09T04:16:00.003+05:302008-06-09T04:30:49.434+05:30QuestionsIs it o.k to pretend to be happy when you really aren't? Is it right to hide your true feelings from someone you love? Is it prudent to turn your face away from what's gnawing you inside and tearing your heart apart, instead of facing it and confronting it with its perpetrator? <br /><br />I wish I knew the answer to these. I am searching desperately, trying hard. Because, if I pretend to be happy when I really am not and if its to someone I love, am I not, in a sense, deceiving that person? If I am hiding my feelings and not facing my fears and not confronting the root cause, am I not being a coward? <br /><br />Growing up simply adds questions on top of questions. Most of them don't get answered right away, and when they do, after ages, they get lost in that mess of questions on questions on questions. Its now clear to me, why poets and writers glorify the lost world of childhood. When the most trying thing is to peel an orange or catch a butterfly. Where questions are not introspective and mind boggling, but simple and liberating. Why is the sky blue? Why doesn't it hurt when I get my hair cut? How can we speak to someone on a telephone? <br /><br />I am an adult and I have those stacked up, pancake questions too. Some of them, I wish I had never had the curiosity to question myself. Some of them, though I know are painful, requiring courage to ask, are the only way of freeing the tangles in my mind.<br /><br />But the question is - do I have the courage?Ashikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06615837818302592885noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31629186.post-82510127291982695312008-05-20T17:41:00.005+05:302010-07-08T17:10:02.303+05:30Click-Tick-Click-Tick<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iKpienMyGIM/SDLAKJOs-wI/AAAAAAAAAng/inp9QPaixBo/s1600-h/DSC01362.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iKpienMyGIM/SDLAKJOs-wI/AAAAAAAAAng/inp9QPaixBo/s320/DSC01362.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5202431800075156226" /></a><br />
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It takes approximately five steps before the first 'uh oh' pops into my head. Another five and it turns verbal! I can already imagine the agony that is going to be my friend for the rest of the day that I wear these high heeled, super cool, brilliant boots! I go through the day, with 'ow ow ooowwww' constantly punctuating my sentences. I literally fantasize about the time that I can go back home and take them off and walk barefoot...aahh..ecstacy! <br />
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New shoes? Shoe bites? First time? - answer to all that - NO!!! <br />
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Weird, but I do this at least once every two weeks. The pattern never changes, neither do the reactions and the sore feet. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Why, why then do I ever wear heels?</span> And almost every woman who has managed to stuff her feet into the traps of a stiletto knows what I am talking about and will vouch for the efficacy of the repeat folly! <br />
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Reasons may vary, but what drives me to wear my boots/heels is not at all to look taller (no matter how high my heels are I could never even manage to be as tall as K, forget taller!). Its a very subtle mix of emotions. The way they make me walk like I own the world, not to mention the smart click-click-clicks! I think heels give class to any outfit, be it skirts, trousers, jeans or even salwars.They are like the coriander garnishing to an excellent dish!<br />
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Believe me, given the choice between flat pumps and high heels, I would fall head over heels for the pumps! But, every once in a while (read, once in two weeks!) I get this urge to walk down that road, in those shoes, which make me look like I'm levitating a few inches off the ground! <br />
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Still, some people (and even I) wonder, why do we ever wear heels? I guess, this is really one of those aesthetic questions (e.g. why do we pluck out hair from our eyebrows?!) which just cannot be answered!!Ashikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06615837818302592885noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31629186.post-30598042483669840982007-03-08T18:44:00.000+05:302007-03-12T23:58:48.102+05:30Back!I had decided not to write about relationships and their dos and do nots, because, I am still learning and evolving. I am making mistakes and correcting myself. And loving it (and him!) The day I feel that nirvana has finally knocked on my doorstep, I will begin my 'sharing of knowledge' again!<br /><br />The reason I am back today is because today is Women's Day! It makes me proud that what started off as a sexual strike by the women of Greece to force men to end war is today one of the biggest symbols of the liberation of women. Liberation from the bondage of stereotypical roles, paths laid down by others and set past times of sewing and baking cookies (THANK GOD FOR THAT!!I would have been branded a failure for sure!!)<br /><br />Anyways, I was searching for some cards to send to my dear girl friends and came across some interesting things!! Pasting two of those here!! Enjoy (and learn!)<br /><br /><br />The Seven <strong><em>Myths</em></strong> Men Believe about Women<br /><br />Women are never satisfied<br />Women are high maintenance<br />Women want to control men<br />Women are jealous and possessive<br />Women are too emotional<br />Women who appear to be strong and competent don't need to be taken care of<br />Women want to rob men of their freedom<br /><br /><strong>How to Treat a Girl</strong><br /><br />1.Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.<br /><br />2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out.<br /><br />3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.<br /><br />4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.<br /><br />5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.<br /><br />6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.<br /><br />7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.<br /><br />8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did. 8.5 If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.<br /><br />9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...<br /><br />10. Not all of them eat like birds, alot of them can eat like whales.<br /><br />11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with<br />their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy.<br /><br />11.5. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!<br /><br />12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.<br /><br />13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.<br /><br />14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to kick the s**t out of him.<br /><br />15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.<br /><br />16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.<br /><br />17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.<br /><br />18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.<br /><br />19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.<br /><br />20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like s**t, so be understanding.<br /><br />21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.<br /><br />22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.<br /><br />23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.<br /><br />24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.<br /><br />25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.<br /><br />26. Memorize their god damned birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.<br /><br />27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.<br /><br />28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful.<br /><br />29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.<br /><br />30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, priviledge and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.<br /><br />They are true..really!! I can vouch for <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">almost </span>of them!! I do have reservations about a few! Like, the guy paying<span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"> all </span>the time..he can if he shares a bank account with the girl! And some similar ones! but yeah, most of them at least skim through the truth, if not tell it blatantly!<br /><br />-AshAshikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06615837818302592885noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31629186.post-1157785849121620712006-09-09T12:24:00.000+05:302006-09-09T12:40:49.133+05:30:DI think I'll stop. Can't bear it anymore!!<br />No more anything on dos and donts of love! The path is easier to find, when 'you' take the trip!<br /><br /><br />What inspired me to decide on this??? ---> I yawned when I read the blog, thats what!!!<br /><br />me!Ashikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06615837818302592885noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31629186.post-1156786535913084472006-08-28T22:42:00.000+05:302006-08-28T23:05:36.016+05:30Learning curve!Being hardpressed for time yesterday, I had to stop with just one part of the intended entire post.<br />in continuation with yesterday's discourse ;)!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">#2 Think twice, thrice, actually a dozen times before thou speakest:<br /><br /></span>Sensitive Issues?! Beware. You might be wanting to clarify something. Anything. Give it time. I have seen myself turn from a 'gotta clear this RIGHT NOW' to someone who thinks about it, prays about it. It takes a second to say something and a lifetime to face and bear the consequences. The unwritten message here is that if there is something that rewuires clarification, it better be done. We dont want a repeat of the Panchathanthra tale, where the tiny vine grew into humongous creeper around the tree and all the birds living in the tree (and didnt pay enough attention to the vine) are taken prey by the hunter.<br />Its best to talk things out. Voice your fears and your opinions. But use your discretion. Its important to say 'the right thing' at 'the right time'. A relationship formed out love and trust and reinforced by transperancy will go a long way. But hey! Even glass doors have locks.<br /><br />Give extra thought.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">#3 Err..mm...cough cough..ahem..I love you:<br /><br /></span>There would be a million things that might be on your mind regarding the relationship, but I believe that what makes a man and woman come together, stick together and emerge victorious from those battles is love. Love.<br /><br />What were you before you met? Strangers, most likely. Then how now, it seems like you could have all the joys in the world, yet it would fall short of the happiness that just being there and holding his hands brings?<br />Remember Toni Morrison's "Love is or it aint. Thin love is no love at all." I so believe in that. This is because, when we love, completely, we give the other person power. Power to make us or destroy us. Putting the right foot over the barbed wire limit, taking a deep breath and crossing territory over requires faith and trust that can move mountains. When you have taken so much pain, its only fair that the purpose be served.<br /><br /> "I love you"<br />These words could (and do) mean the world to that special person. Anything can happen, nothing needs to happen for you to say these words. Ok, now if you aren't the 'very' verbal time, I understand. I really do. That hug, that kiss, that caress could make all the difference. Love surpasses expensive gifts and things-you-got-to-do-to-score-points. This is Love, remember?! Simply express it.<br /><br />Three roses. Beautiful.<br /><br /><br />Am working on some more insights offline, hope to get them up online soon!<br /><br />So long!<br /><br />me!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>Ashikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06615837818302592885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31629186.post-1156698695286522982006-08-27T22:28:00.000+05:302006-08-27T22:46:31.783+05:30Relationship. The dos and the donts as I see them- Ego.My last post was met with a lot of salt and sugar! Some found it quite interesting, while some thought it was a very diplomatic post, said the right things, in the right tone. Thats it. Well, I have been thinking a lot over the past few days and have decided to post some more <span style="font-weight: bold;">What They Wants</span>. This time, am not limiting myself to women, but am taking into consideration, any couple. Genuine love is a pre condition to the success of what's listed here! <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>Making a relationship work needs some basic charecterisitics and the lack of some. I have derived lessons from my life, firmly believing that 'if I dont make mistakes, how will I learn?' Some of the thoughts are experiences, while some are observations from my most reliable source of ideas - people!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">#1. Ego, go go:</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span>I've heard this from everyone. Mom, dad, aunties, uncles, married cousins, committed friends and some of my own wisdom (size varies from peanuts to pumpkins!)! Where there is love, ego has to leave.<br />If your ego shows its ugly head in your relationship, be on red alert. There one of two things that just must be done;<br /> * Kill the beast<br /> * Get ready for turbulence and consequential good bye<br /><br />For those who are like me, the kill-the-beast-types, stick on.<br /><br />I have learnt that things are never what they seem.A seemingly threatening email is just that <span style="font-weight: bold;">'seemingly' </span>threatening. A hurting conversation is probably not all that bad. The key lies in reviewing. I do that. Give the concerned peice of writing or speech profound thought. What I perceieve the first time is almost never the same when I review. Haste makes waste. Believe me. Take time to get out of a seething mindset. An 'excuuuuussseeee me??????' frame of mind.<br /><br />Love is deep, its worth biting that nasty retort.<br /><br />More in next. So long!<br /><br />me!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>Ashikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06615837818302592885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31629186.post-1154595913692008132006-08-03T13:56:00.000+05:302006-08-27T22:45:39.503+05:30What girls expect??There really are too many questions out there that leave us stumped and bgllleerruubbiinhiing for answers. When my colleague friend, recently, out of sheer desperation, asked me while we were discussing 'relationships'... "Ashika, what do girls expect????????".. for once, quite surprisingly, I went 'virtually' quiet on the IM. Infact, I was in a complex thinking process and I could feel those folds of my brain squirm and groan in pain. Lack of practice, I assume.<br /><br />When a little more than 5 minutes had passed, my fateful friend's "..errr, U <em>are</em> a girl, aren't you..." sparked me into thinking...what do I expect from my partner? What do girls expect from people they are in a relationship with? And thats when I started my - Project Endless Quests!! The response to my queries -> wonderful! The looking-forward-to-your-posting comments-> remarkable!<br /><br />So, with the Quest in mind and armed with a network of some really intelligent and expressive women, I began the process of putting forth the question to all of them. The answers I got were quite...err...varied! "Jobless creature", "Is this what you get paid for?!", "@#$#@$%$#%$#%" were accompanied with some really interesting insights and pointers. So, I have tried, to the best of my skills, to consolidate the plethora of womanly wisdom and introspection of "what girls expect". Arranged in the order of popularity among the pillars of life and the hands that rock the cradle and rule the world (couldn't resist that! But am not entirely wrong either ;))<br /><br /><strong><em>1. Unconditional love</em></strong><br /><br />Yes, cliched, heard-it-a-thousand-times, so obvious...'unconditional love'. Girls expect you to love them just the way they are..just the way they love you. Really, there is no point in elaborating, because if you love someone, you would understand this anyways. Being aware of her shortcomings and her coming-short-of-killing-you habits, yet, accepting them and knowing that life is long and there is a lot of avenues for her to change or for you to simply (sigh!) get used to them...its as simple as that. Because, believe me, when a girl loves you truly...she'll even kiss your bald patch and won't even notice that paunch you've been wanting to turn into a six pack for quite a few years now!<br /><br /><strong><em>2. Respect</em></strong><br /><br />It is quite a 'but, obvious' expectation, but hey! Thats what the ladies told me (!) and yes, I personally feel too (KK, yes, its official...I am a girl!). Aaah..Respect..the one word that can rid the world of all evil and malice. Respect, for a woman (actually for anyone else) does not end with 'pleases'and 'thank you's', respecting her feelings, her likes, her dislikes...respecting her enough to be honest with her..respecting her beliefs, her principles. Its all about treating her the way you would want her to treat you. With respect.<br /><br /><strong><em>3. Be yourself </em></strong><br /><br />Not everyone is 'king of comedy' or 'action star' and we know it! Sit for a moment and think...what is it that you are, the real you..just be that, please. Girls expect you to be yourself. When a girl truly loves you, she wants to get beneath that composed demeanor and know what you really are made of and accept you just that way. Imagine being the coolest kid on the block all the time when she is around, and what a rude shock it would be for the poor sould when she realises that you throw tantrums and break the vases at home. Be yourself. Wouldn't you rather have a woman love you with all your shortcomings?? And anyways, thats what she expects too.<br /><em></em><br /><strong><em>4. Learn an instrument, draw,paint, do something</em></strong><br /><strong><em></em></strong><br />The guitar, the mouth organ, the keyboard, the clarinet, the trumpet, the saxophone,sketch, paint, carpentry...just something Learn to play a song (London bridge is falling down, in any mood, is alright!), draw a few masterpieces (they will be master pieces for her anyways!), write a poem...its not about entertaining her and being her 'colour tv', its more about the ability to be in touch with your artistic side. Girls expect that. Have a special interest. Oh yeah, making her something special out of that special interest....helps big time!<br /><br /><strong><em>5. Own mind and own tongue</em></strong><br /><br />Girls appreciate men who can speak their mind ... AT THE RIGHT TIME. She has just been unnecessarily rude to the waiter, and this is not the first time. Your mind says, "that was mean..thats not usually like her" but then, if you tell her that now, you might end up in a soup yourself. Tell her. Maybe in a while, in a day..but tell her. She'll be enraged at first (quite a dangerous sight) but if she is a mature girl and understands you, she'll see the point. Have the guts to open up and speak. For if she loves you, your opinion would matter.<br />Yeaap! They expect it! oopss...'we' expect it!!<br /><br /><strong><em>6.Guts</em></strong><br /><strong><em></em></strong><br />Stand up for the underdog. Be kind to older people and women. Do not, DO NOT abuse while driving. Takes guts to do all this, especially when there is a woman beside you, your probably, subconsciously trying to impress. Its all about the 3 Rs;<br /><br /><br /><ul><li>Respect for self</li><li>Respect for others</li><li>Responsibility for all your actions</li></ul><p>Go, muster up those guts. She'll respect you more. And yes, she expects this from you too.</p><p>Phew! Its been quite a few days of balancing presentations, reports , a runny nose and hoards and hoards of times of save as drafts! But at last, I have done it! Tried to lessen the burden of my fellow beings (read: male species)! I know that this is not really an exhaustive list, will try to add in more as and when they come!</p><p>Till then! Go go go! Get your acts together! You know what girls expect now!!</p><p>So long!</p><p>Ash</p><p></p>Ashikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06615837818302592885noreply@blogger.com8